Come Back to Me
by zebraboymom
Summary: Nine months have passed since Elliot left and Liv is sick and tired of waiting to hear from him. When she takes matters into her own hands, she is shocked by what she finds. E/O
1. Chapter 1

Come Back to Me

Chapter One

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sigh…

Author Notes: Nine months have passed since Elliot left and Liv is sick and tired of waiting to hear from him. When she takes matters into her own hands, she is shocked by what she finds.

Olivia sat at her desk filling out paperwork. She shook her head as she watched the two new detectives square off at each other again. They reminded her so much of herself and Elliot in the early days. Nick was a lot like Elliot. He was so protective of Rollins. He had almost screwed up the case today when he started punching out the perp that attacked her in the park while she was undercover. That had lead to a screaming match in front of half the squad. Amanda was pig headed like her and so sure she could handle herself no matter what. She wanted to prove that she could handle anything they threw at her. Just like Olivia would she pushed Nick away.

She sat at her desk after everyone left for a bar to celebrate the case. Her eyes strayed across to the desk facing her and she tried to remember Elliot's face looking at her with those piercing blue eyes. She realized for the first time that she was starting to forget what he looked like. She looked down at the picture of the two of them that sat on her desk. He had his arm around her and they were smiling at each other instead of the camera. She loved that picture. You could see how close they were. Back then nothing could separate them. They had each other's back. Her eyes started to fill up and she swiped at them.

It had been nine months and nothing! He just cut her out of his life like the rest of SVU. She always knew he had mattered more to her than she had to him, but even ex-partners got together for drinks once in awhile. What a jerk! After everything they had been through together, he couldn't take five minutes and just give her a call? Well, she was fed up and she was going to give him a piece of her mind whether he liked it or not. She grabbed her purse and headed to her parking garage.

She pulled up in front of Elliot's house 45 minutes later and sat in the car trying to gather her courage. She probably would have turned around and taken her car back to the garage, but she was just so angry. She knocked loudly on the front door and was surprised when a tall man answered the door.

"Uh. Hi. Is Elliot here?"

"The man just stood and stared at her before he yelled into the house."

"Kath, can you come to the door, Honey?"

Who was this guy and why was he calling Kathy Honey?

"Olivia? What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Elliot?"

Now it was Liv's turn to be confused.

"Kathy who is this guy and why would I know where Elliot is?"

"This is Adam and he's my…uh…we're dating. Liv, Elliot and I divorced 6 months ago, right after his mother died."

"Bernie's dead?"

"You don't know any of this?"

"Kathy, I haven't seen El since the day he left the unit. I came here because I wanted to know why he didn't want to talk to me. I need some answers and some closure."

"But I thought he ran to you. All those nights when he didn't come home after the shooting I was sure he was with you. After the divorce I thought he'd run straight into your arms…I guess I was wrong."

"Where is he Kathy?"

"How would I know? He hasn't picked Eli up on his visitation days for over two months and he's pretty upset his daddy doesn't seem to want him."

The two women stood and stared at each other awkwardly. Suddenly Kathy perked up.

"His mom left him her beach house. Maybe he's there. If not, he has an apartment not far from the precinct. Wait here."

Kathy returned with a pair of keys.

"These will get you into both even if he won't let you in. You know how stubborn he can be. I hope he'll listen to you Olivia. I tried and tried to talk to him, but he went some place dark after it happened. It's ironic really that just when I was going to finally have him, I wasn't what he wanted or needed."

A tear slipped down her cheek and Liv couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman. Elliot had been absent from her life for too long.

"Thanks Kathy. Thanks so much. I'm sorry it went like this."

"If anyone can reach him Liv, I know it's you. Tell him his son loves and misses him."

"I will."

Liv stumbled back to her car in tears and in shock. This was not what she had expected to find at all. She sat in her car and called Cragen's cell number.

"Liv, what's up?"

"Remember when you told me I could take some leave time if I needed it?"

"I do."

"Does that still stand?"

"Of course it does. How much time do you need?"

"I don't know. I think I'd like to take at least three weeks off and maybe more."

"That's fine Liv. Just take care of yourself."

"I will Cap and thanks."

"Liv, I've been waiting for you to realize you needed to do this. Take all the time you need."

"Goodnight."

Liv sat in her car after she hung up the phone. She was scared. Where was Elliot? She drove to his apartment. She was surprised to find out he kept the apartment he lived in when he and Kathy were separated. She took the three flights of stairs quickly and knocked loudly on the door.

Nothing.

She knocked three more times before she used the key.

"Elliot? Elliot. It's Liv."

It only took a few minutes and a pass through all the rooms to see he wasn't there and hadn't been for some time. The fridge was as empty as hers at home and Elliot always had food around. As she retraced her steps to her car she prayed that Elliot was at the beach house. Her mind was filled with images of him eating his gun. There was no way in her mind that he would go this long without seeing Eli. At least the Elliot she knew would never do that. She sped back to her apartment to grab some things.

Liv quickly packed a suitcase with clothes for the beach and headed out to her car. She had never done anything this impulsive in her life, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Elliot needed her.

It was a long drive, but it gave Olivia a chance to reflect on the last thirteen plus years of her life. They had been filled with Elliot. He had been the one constant for as long as she could remember. It was so hard for her to figure out what happened. They were close. She remembered a psychologist saying once that some partners were closer than married people. That had been true for them. They could read each other like a book. Even during stressful times they knew when the other one needed to blow off steam or be alone. Liv remembered all the times she had opened up to Elliot about her life and how few times he had really done that with her. He always tried to handle things on his own and then the emotions would come bubbling to the surface in ways that hurt other people. She could picture how the divorce happened. She knew what killing a kid would do to him.

It was late. It had to be past midnight when she pulled into the sleepy little coastal town. Once she found Bernie's house, she parked and walked up on the broad porch, looking in windows. It was dark, but no lights were on inside. There wasn't a car parked in the driveway, but the garage door was down, so he could be there. Liv thought about sitting on the porch and waiting. There was a big wooden swing that looked really comfortable, but she decided instead to take a walk on the beach. The ocean would be beautiful in the moonlight. If he was asleep, she could sleep in her car until morning. It had been so long since she got out of the city, like never. She slipped her shoes and socks off and smiled briefly when her bare feet buried themselves in the soft sand. As she rounded the house she stopped dead in her tracks. A lone figure was sitting out on the beach. Even with moonlight being the only source of light, Liv would know that body anywhere. It was Elliot. He was alternating between staring out at the waves and hanging his head. A bottle of beer dangled loosely in his hand.

Liv walked slowly down the beach towards him. She was shaking like a leaf. She hadn't seen him in nine months, but he still made her heart skip a beat. She missed him so much. He became aware of her presence when she got within about three feet of him. She called softly to him.

"Elliot."

"Liv?"


	2. Chapter 2

Come Back to Me

Chapter Two

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sigh…

Author Notes: Liv doesn't know what she's going to find when she arrives at the beach. What if anything is left of their friendship after so many months? How did Elliot deal with the trauma of the shooting and his mother's death?

He looks out to sea and says nothing.

"Elliot, what are you doing? Why are you sitting on the beach in the middle of the night? Elliot…answer me."

He drops his head again. She knows she should go slowly, but she is so angry the words just bubble out. Neither one of them ever had a decent filter. They had hurt each other deeply over the years because of that very weakness.

"What the hell, Elliot? I have to find out from Kathy that your divorced and that your mother died?"

Elliot downs the rest of the beer in one swallow and tosses the empty bottle angrily out towards the sea. He refuses to look at her.

"El, talk to me."

"Shit. Get the hell away from me Olivia."

Liv steps in front of him now with her hands on her hips and the floodgates burst open.

"You son of a bitch! You don't get to order me around! You don't get to tell me what to do! You lost that right when you dumped me nine months ago!"

Her chest is heaving and she is so angry she feels lightheaded. Again Elliot refuses to look at her. His eyes are cast down and his voice comes out rough, but murderously calm.

"Hope you had a nice drive, Liv, now go back to the city. Go back to your life and forget about me. I'm trying to forget SVU, everything and everyone else back there."

"And that includes me: your best friend? What happened to our friendship Elliot? Is that just supposed to be a casualty of all this? Do you have any idea what it's been like for the last nine months? Not one word from you Elliot, not even a good-bye. You owed me that much Elliot. I had to hear it from Cragen!"

He is up in an instant and in her face. He looks different, thinner, but still muscled. She can't tell much more in the moonlight, but she can see that he hasn't seen a razor in some time. She is significantly shorter than him with her heels off and he leans up over her trying to intimidate her. This is the first time she finds herself afraid of him. In their entire partnership she has never feared him. This version of Elliot she does not know and she steps back involuntarily as he gets in her space.

"So help me God, Liv. Get away from me now!"

He does something then that she never expected, he shoves her down in the sand and stalks off through the screened porch and into the house banging the door. Olivia is shocked. In all the time she's known him, he has never raised a hand to her. What happened to the deeply passionate, caring man that had dominated her life for as long as she could remember almost? Where was the man she loved? She knew she loved him with every fiber of her being. There had been times in her relationship when she knew he felt something for her too. Before Eli came along and he went back to Kathy she actually had hoped that they would one day have a romantic relationship. There were even times when she thought he loved her, but other than a few hugs during a difficult case or when Eli was born, he had rarely touched her. Now to have him shove her out of the way like she meant nothing caused her eyes to fill with hot tears.

She didn't know how long she sat there in the sand crying for what she'd lost. There just had to be a way to get through to him. Kathy said if anyone could get to him, it was Liv. No one knew Elliot better than she did. This was something she had to do for him, but she had to do it for herself as well. She would never be able to live the rest of her life without him in it in some way, even if it was only a phone call and a vacation visit from time to time. It was impossible to think about spending another night without him in her life.

She liked Rollins and Amaro, but the hole Elliot left was just too big to fill with anything or anyone else. She also knew she would never be able to live with herself if he didn't find peace. Sleep would never reclaim her if she knew somewhere out here he was suffering like this. After the tears finally slowed, she stood up and with new resolve brushed off her pants and strode purposefully up to his back door. She didn't wait for an invitation, but instead jerked the back door open and entered Bernie's house.

He hadn't bothered to turn on the lights, but she spotted him right away standing at the edge of the kitchen, a fresh beer in his hand. He was staring again, just staring out the windows at the ocean. She thought his head turned slightly and his eyes flicked once to meet hers, but quickly flitted away. The tension was palpable, but he refused to speak to her. She was glad it was dark so he couldn't see what a fool she had made of herself: crying like a lost child out there on the beach. If she was going to help him, he couldn't see her break. With all the strength she had and in a measured voice she spoke into the darkness.

"I'm staying Elliot, so you better show me where I can sleep. I took some time off. I never take time off, but I did and I'm spending it with you whether you like it or not, so get used to it. I'm as stubborn as you are and you know it. I don't care if you hit me. I'm. Not. Leaving."

She watched as he slammed the beer bottle down on the counter and folded his arms across his chest. He was barefoot too and she watched as he rocked up and down on the balls of his feet in nervous agitation: another behavior she knew all too well. So he was as uncertain as she was. Good.

She strode through the house, opened the front door and literally stomped to her car. Grabbing all three bags she had brought, she returned to his sunroom, dumping them unceremoniously on the floor. She looked around and saw she was alone. The door at the end of the hallway slammed and Liv looked to see another room with the door open and the light on.

Guess that was the only invitation she was going to get. She smirked to herself. Score: Olivia 1 Elliot 0. She would find a way back into their partnership. She knew she could do it. She breathed in the salt air through the open window. It was so fresh and cleansing. For a time she could put the ugliness of the city and her job behind her and just be.

She walked down the hall and peered into the room. It was done all in pastels and had shells and lighthouses decorating it brightly. There was a queen size bed that was covered with a beautiful quilt and it called to Olivia's tired bones. She went to get her bags and brought them into the room. She could unpack tomorrow, but tonight she needed sleep. If she were going to face Elliot in the light of day, she would need all the strength she could muster. Directly across the hall from her room was a bathroom and she quickly changed into her sleep pants and a tank before she used the restroom, brushed her teeth and pulled her now long hair into a ponytail. The window in her room faced the ocean, so she opened it and allowed the breeze to ruffle the curtain and bring cooling air in. She pulled down the quilt and climbed into bed allowing her self to relax for the first time all day. It was heaven. After sleeping on her couch for most of the last nine months, this was unbelievably comfortable. She looked at the clock. It was 2:30 in the morning. For once in her life she was not going to set her alarm.

As she started to drift off, she heard the bathroom in the master suite flush and then heard the sound of the bed in the next room squeak as Elliot apparently climbed in it. From the sounds of it, his bed backed up to hers on the other side of the wall. She stifled the urge to call out to him, but she said it anyway softly to herself in the dark.

"Goodnight El."


	3. Chapter 3

Come Back to Me

Chapter Three

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sigh…

Author Notes: Liv doesn't know what she's going to find when she arrives at the beach. What if anything is left of their friendship after so many months? How did Elliot deal with the trauma of the shooting and his mother's death?

When Olivia woke up her room was bathed in sunlight and the cool breezes of the night before had been replaced with warm ones. It made her room just a little too uncomfortable to stay in bed any longer. She looked at her phone and saw that it was 9:30. She had slept for seven hours straight. That was a new record for her. She might just have to stay here and sleep for several days before she started confronting Elliot. She stretched and yawned and slid back under the sheets, pushing the quilt off her body. She listened for the sounds of Elliot moving about, but the house was quiet, so she slipped out of bed and crossed barefoot into the sunroom. The smell of coffee drew her into the kitchen and she poured herself a cup.

Looking out the window at the beach, she spotted a few people out walking dogs and looking for seashells. How could Elliot stay in such a beautiful place and still seem so lost? She already found herself soothed by the scene before her. She smiled as an elderly woman in a huge straw hat walked the tiniest dog she had ever seen down the beach. She was sure it could fit in her hand. Needing a refill, she moved back into the kitchen and filled her mug. Just as she added some sugar and stirred it, she heard the door open and turned to see Elliot bare-chested, sweaty and winded from what had obviously been a run.

They stood and squared off at each other. Olivia took in his now tanned, muscled chest and arms. He took in her low-slung sleep pants that revealed a stretch of bare skin just below her tank top. Their eyes finally met and complete silence filled the room. This was not a scenario they had ever lived out in real life. Liv tried a small smile, but Elliot turned away from her and headed down the hall. She heard the door slam once again and the sound of him turning on the shower.

Liv sighed and finished her coffee before heading out to get her own shower. It was going to be a long day if he wasn't even going to talk to her. That's okay. She smirked to herself. He can just listen.

Liv stepped out of the shower and dried herself off before blowing her hair dry. She wrapped the towel back around her and opened the door to cross the hallway to her room. Just as she stepped through the door she heard Elliot's voice.

"I'm heading out to…"

He had been waiting for her as he leaned against the wall at the end of the hall into the living room, but froze in his sentence as he saw his partner for the first time ever wrapped only in a towel. She watched as he drank her in from head to toe and then cleared his throat as his eyes finally made their way up to lock with hers. He found his voice, but it came out gruff.

"Since apparently you're staying, I'm going to the market. Do you want anything special? I should be back in a couple of hours. I have some other business as well."

The staring match continued and Liv clenched the towel tighter to her body and tried to compose her thoughts. She had never experienced that kind of unguarded look from Elliot before and it made goose bumps break out all along her shoulders and arms. Was he really looking at her as a woman? She couldn't think of anything to say, so finally she just said, "Tea?"

He knew her so well.

"Already on the list. I'll be back."

He took one last predatory look at her and then she heard the front door slam as he left. The door-slamming thing was definitely becoming irritating.

She stood for a minute letting what just happened register and then she smiled to herself as she entered the bedroom. One thing was running through her mind. Elliot wasn't married anymore. For once in their lives they were sharing a space and they were both single. It also occurred to her that Elliot had looked at her differently just now. So, he liked the tank top. She pulled another one out of her bag along with some shorts. He had never seen her in shorts before either. She pulled on some sneakers and headed out for a walk on the beach. She needed some time to think. Maybe there was more than one reason why Elliot had been avoiding her. The thought that she might be right sent a warm shiver through her entire body.

**Elliot's POV**

Elliot pushed the cart and mindlessly tossed items into it. He forgot all about the list he held in his hand as his mind wandered back to Liv. He replayed the night once again in his mind. Never in a million years had he ever expected her to leave New York and actually try to find him. Granted it was only a couple of hours, but he never knew Liv to take time off ever and then she never left the city. He thought he was safe laying low in Jersey.

When she walked up on him at the beach he had frozen in fear: his worst nightmare unfolding before him. He panicked and he treated her badly. She was so stubborn. She never gave an inch. He loved that about her. There were so many things he loved about her. God he had missed her so much, but he had to figure out a way to get her to leave. If she stayed she would know the truth about him and he couldn't stand to have her know about his weaknesses…about his sins. He had to get away from her fast last night and he had stood like an impetuous child; trying first to intimidate her and then to ignore her. He had finally resorted to adolescent behavior: slamming doors and giving her the silent treatment. What was he? Five?

God she had looked so beautiful standing there in her bare feet on the sand in the moonlight. He had wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, to bury his nose in her hair and to tell her once and for all how he really felt about her, but he couldn't. After everything he'd put her through she deserved to be happy and that meant cutting him out of her life so she could move on once and for all.

He really thought he could stay home with Kathy and be happy, but the years had driven them apart and his depression over the shooting was the final blow that swept the legs out from under their marriage. Adam was a good guy and he was happy Kathy found someone who really loved her just the way she was. He missed Eli, but he was better off with Adam in his life too. Elliot wasn't any good for anyone right now. He hated himself right now and that meant he couldn't be the dad Eli deserved either. He sure wasn't what Liv deserved. She had put up with his shit for almost fourteen years. Enough was enough.

He threw a bag of noodles into the cart so hard they burst open. Great. He pushed the cart to the produce department and recued as many noodles as he could; putting them into one of those bags you put the vegetables in.

He had stalled long enough. It was time to go home. He wanted to see her so much, but he was afraid his face would give away the truth. If she knew he loved her, he'd never get her to leave. Seeing her in those sleep pants and then, Lord, the towel, had just about undone him. Her hair was longer too. He loved her with long hair. He had to push those thoughts out of his mind and get her to go home quickly. The longer she stayed, the longer he would have to put on an act. She knew him better than anyone, even his own wife. He wouldn't be able to fool her for very long and he wasn't prepared to destroy himself and the woman he had secretly loved all these years because he was weak.

The drive back to the beach house made him more tense the closer he got. By the time he pulled into the driveway and carried the groceries up to the door he was wound up like a top. He shoved it open roughly and stalked into the kitchen with a couple of bags. He fully expected to see her standing with her arms crossed in the sunroom, but it was empty. A quick inspection of the rest of the house didn't turn up anything either. She was gone, but he knew she hadn't left. Her suitcases were still in the bedroom and her car was parked out front.

He stalked back out to bring in the rest of the groceries and then started putting them away. He pushed the kitchen window open to let the breeze blow through while he put away the items in the bags. That's when he heard it. Her laugh came wafting across the breeze and he just stood there soaking it in. God he had missed her laugh. When she laughed it lit up a room. He always loved to tease her along with Munch and Fin, just to get her laughing. They were all addicted to her laugh.

He stole over to the window and saw her talking to his neighbor, Mrs. Cook. They were facing each other just below the steps up to the house. Mrs. Cook was talking to her and Liv had her back to Elliot holding the woman's miniature yorkie in her arms. The dog was licking her and Liv was laughing as the woman held her wide brimmed straw hat tightly on her head to keep it from flying off in the breeze. He listened in on the conversation hoping Liv didn't turn and look up.

"I'm so glad Elliot has someone here to visit with him. The man is always alone and it isn't right for a nice young man like him to be alone. Bernie always worried about him and well, he hasn't looked very happy since he came to live here. The dear boy does all sorts of odd jobs for me around the house, but he hardly ever smiles. He has the cutest dimples, but I never see them. I hope you can make him smile again. You're such a pretty girl after all."

Elliot had to agree with her. Liv was a golden goddess in those denim shorts. They were the kind that rolled up and she had legs that went on forever. She had on another formfitting tank top and her hair was in a ponytail revealing her slender neck. He stood staring at her round bottom until Mrs. Cook looked up and caught Elliot watching them.

"Elliot, where have you been hiding this young lady? She absolutely delightful."

Liv turned and looked up at him then. Their eyes met briefly and she had a smirk on her face knowing he had been listening in on the conversation.

"Hey, Mrs. Cook, how are you today? Uh, Liv is my old partner, but she's only here for a brief visit."

"Actually I took three weeks off, so who knows? I might be here for some time."

She was daring Elliot to counter her statement. He swallowed hard. Three weeks? He hadn't thought she would ever consider being away from her job that long.

"You'll have to bring her to the bonfire tomorrow night now won't you?"

Liv was curious.

"Bonfire?"

"Oh, twice a month during the summer the neighborhood all gets together around a bonfire on the beach and cooks hot dogs. It's lots of fun. Elliot plays guitar and so do some of the other locals. We sing and eat and just enjoy the weather until summer is over. I'll look forward to seeing you again then. See you later Olivia and nice to meet you. Elliot, you be sure to show this girl around and I will see her tomorrow night, right?"

This gal had his number. Liv was quite sure she could get El to do just about anything she asked him to do. She tried to hide the smile spreading across her face.

"Sure thing, Mrs. Cook."

Elliot ducked back out of the window and finished putting away the groceries as Liv came into the house and closed the door quietly behind her. She crossed to the counter and watched him fold the bags and put them away. The silence was awkward again and then Liv spoke.

"Badass Elliot Stabler plays guitar?"


	4. Chapter 4

Come Back to Me

Chapter Four

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. My mother taught me whining won't get me anything.

Author Notes: A day together without questions and without accusations; a day where they are just Liv and Elliot. They've never had a day like that before.

Should he answer her? He had planned to give her the silent treatment until she got sick of it and left, but the way she looked in those shorts and the way the sun had been in her hair just now was causing him to have second thoughts. He could spend a few days with her as long as they stayed away from the subject he could not talk about. He had missed her like air and the idea that she would walk away and maybe never come back made his chest feel heavy with dread. Being alone again would be the final straw.

"What else have I had to do for nine months?"

'Who are you and where is the no nonsense detective I used to work with?"

He decided to go with honesty.

"He's gone. His work ate him alive. He's been replaced by a Bohemian."

"Ah, El, the artist formerly known as Elliot."

He chuckled. She loved to hear him laugh.

"Something like that."

Olivia saw the opening and started to take it.

"El…"

She stopped herself when she realized that she still needed to earn his trust. If she plunged right back in again, she was sure he would shut her out like the other night and he might physically throw her out of his house this time. The bookshelf in the sunroom had a shelf of albums. She decided to take another route.

"Do you remember when Kathleen got arrested?"

"Of course I do. It was one of the worst times of my life."

"Do you remember what I said when you came out of court?"

"Not exactly."

Liv crossed to the shelf and pulled out the album and brought it over to the counter stepping on his side, just barely brushing his shoulder. She flipped through until she came to the picture of him in his carrot costume.

"Your mom showed me this."

Elliot found himself overwhelmed with her standing so close. Her head was bent over the album and a few loose strands slipped forward out of the rubber band and covered the side of her face. She swept them behind her ear and he tried to focus on the picture and not the delicate curve of her neck.

"You came out here to the beach to talk to my mom?"

"I did. We met in the malt shop on the boardwalk."

"You convinced my mom to help her didn't you? I knew it."

Elliot's throat became tight and he felt the tears welling up in his eyes. For a man that stayed away from deep emotions most of the time, he had been crying a lot lately.

At the tone in Elliot's voice, Olivia rose up and looked into his eyes. He looked away quickly and she gave him a chance to pull himself together.

"She was your daughter El. I had to try to do something."

"You never could stay out of my family's life could you? All through the years you were there: making sure the kids didn't miss my birthday, convincing Kathy to stay, helping bring Eli into the world, helping with Kathleen and my mom. You always had my back Benson. I never told you thanks. I'm sorry. You deserved at least that."

"Hell, yeah I did. That's why I'm here."

Se could feel Elliot tense up as if he knew what she was going to say next.

"But that can wait. Tell me about the bonfire."

"On one condition."

"Which is?"

"We don't talk about "things"."

Olivia thought it over and nodded. This was exactly what they needed to get back on track. She agreed.

"Right. We call a truce and a moratorium on the past. We spend the rest of today and tomorrow just being best friends again. I can't even remember what that felt like."

Elliot closed the album and bumped her shoulder.

"Grab your purse and we can have lunch at the malt shop, my treat. Then we can shop on the boardwalk and you can buy some of those really lame tourist souvenirs for Munch and Fin."

Liv gave him the most brilliant smile she had and skidded off down the hall. She was back in less than a minute with a small purse that had a long strap on it slung across her chest from one shoulder.

"Lead the way, Bohemian Man."

"Name calling will get you in trouble Benson. Let's go."

As they headed out onto the beach, Elliot felt lighter than he had in so many months. A day with his best friend was what he needed more than anything. They walked along the water and he enjoyed Liv's reactions. She bent to look at every shell, rock and bit of glass the passed. He grinned as she behaved like a small child each time she found a treasure. Her pockets were soon filled with broken shells and "beautiful" pebbles washed smooth by the ocean and the sand. He rolled his eyes when she tried to stuff a huge shell in her back pocket.

"You keep that up and you'll need an extra suitcase to bring back home."

"Leave me alone Elliot. I haven't been to the beach since I was about nineteen, just let me enjoy it, okay?"

She shoved him playfully and he grabbed her around the waist and ran down the beach with her. Liv was instantly in sensory overload. Elliot had never touched her like that in all their years together.

"Elliot put me down."

"No. I'm starving and at this rate we'll be having dinner instead of lunch."

She laughed out loud then and wriggled against him. His mood from yesterday had definitely lifted and she just wanted to enjoy this moment with him at ease for the first time in the last five years. He stopped and let her slide down his body, but he kept his hands firmly wrapped around her waist. Liv turned in his arms, looked up into his face and thought how handsome he looked like this in boardshorts and a t-shirt, browned from being on the beach every day. She felt overwhelmed again and hoped he didn't feel her trembling.

"Okay, release me and I will pick up the pace."

"Promise?"

He reluctantly let her go and took a step back. She took a couple of steps away before she spoke in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, just as soon as I Iook at this last shell."

She pretended to peer down at something and he grabbed her again and turned towards the boardwalk, tickling her as he went. By the time he reached the stairs she was out of breath from laughing. This was an Elliot she hadn't been with in years. She hoped he stayed and the man from the other night didn't come back.

Even though it was midweek, the boardwalk was crowded with vacationers and wonderful smells were coming from all around them. They finally made it to the malt shop and settled into one of the booths to look at the menu. Each of them pretended to study it while they stole glances at the other one. A very cute, very young waitress approached them smiling from ear to ear at Elliot.

"Hey Elliot, who's your friend?"

"Hey Jacey. This is Olivia Benson, my partner."

The young woman pretended to be pleasant, but she could tell the girl was assessing her as a threat.

"Oh, you live in New York."

"Yeah, I'm just taking some time off with El."

"How long were you two partners?"

Elliot smiled affectionately at Liv.

"Forever."

"Almost thirteen years."

The two of them were momentarily lost in each other's eyes and Jacey saw the connection. She had hoped at some point Elliot would ask her out, but there was something going on between these two so she switched back into waitress mode.

"Wow! That's a long time. Are you guys ready to order?"

She couldn't get away fast enough from the love fest going on in the booth.

After she took their order, they sat and looked at each other. Finally Elliot broke the comfortable silence.

"So, are you going to tell me how everyone is back at the precinct or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"

"Ah, I see the interrogation skills haven't suffered much. Let's see. Melinda got a divorce and she and Fin have been seeing each other."

Elliot's eyebrows went up. He grinned at the thought of the two of them.

"I can definitely see that. Way to go Fin."

"Munch is back dating wife number two."

"The one he used to call the…"

"Yeah, that one. Cragen has been hinting he's going to retire this year."

Elliot's eyebrows went up.

"Really?"

"Yep. Says he wants to retire on his boat. I didn't even know he owned a boat."

"Any ideas who they're thinking about replacing him with?"

Liv got quiet and then locked her eyes with Elliot's.

"Me."

Elliot was taken aback for a minute, but it made perfect sense. Liv was the absolute best choice for that role. She knew SVU better than anyone else and Lord knows she had put in the hours, days and years to earn it. He smiled at her.

"That's great Liv, really great. Good thing I'm gone I guess. It will be better without my pain in the ass butt there messing things up for you."

"Doesn't matter, my new pain in the ass partner is a little Elliot clone in a lot of ways."

It hit him then full force. Of course Liv would have a new partner.

"Partner?"

Liv started to get angry with him. What did he think was going to happen when he left? Did he really think Cragen would leave his desk a shrine or something? She spoke without thinking.

"Yeah, after he made me clean out your desk and informed me that you wouldn't be coming back, he gave me a new partner. Now I know how you felt when I went to Oregon."

"What's his name?"

"Nick Amaro."

"Does he have your back?"

Olivia could tell he was feeling protective all of a sudden. She knew the physical signs when he got worried about her. He always got defensive. She had to try to defuse this.

"Yeah, he does. There's a new female detective too, Amanda Rollins, and he is super protective of her too. He punched out a perp in the park when the guy threw her to the ground and tried to rape her during a sting. It was pretty funny actually. It was like watching you and me. He ripped the guy off of her, beat him to a pulp and then she got in his face and yelled at him. It was classic you and me stuff."

Liv smiled at him to try and lighten the mood. She could tell he wanted more information on the guy, but she was going to make him ask.

"So, this Amaro, is he married?"

Liv tried not to smirk.

"Um, yeah, his wife is in Iraq and he has a little girl."

"Wow. That must be hard."

Liv watched as he relaxed in his seat. Was she right in thinking he might be jealous? No way. Just for a second, she wished Nick was single so she could use that information to try and get Elliot to admit some things. She turned the conversation back to their friends.

"Hey, biggest news yet. Both Alex and Casey are back in the D.A.'s office. I've had cases with both of them."

"How are they?"

"Casey's married to some jock. Figures. She always was a tomboy. He's like 6'4". They're cute together. Alex is a mystery these days. I don't know much about her personal life."

Elliot's eyes flitted around the room for the first time since they came in. She knew what that meant.

"So what about you Liv? Are you seeing anyone?"

She wanted to say yes. She wanted to tell him she was, but her life was as empty as his right now. He had been the only man in her life for so long. She couldn't even see herself with anyone else.

"You know me. Always married to the job."

Elliot's eyes finally landed on hers again.

"So I'm still the longest relationship you've had with a man?"

Liv laughed lightly at the phrase she had used so many years ago on the stoop outside his apartment after he signed the divorce papers.

"Yeah, I guess you are."

He responds to her without breaking his gaze.

"Good."


	5. Chapter 5

Come Back to Me

Chapter Five

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. Heart…broken…

Author Notes: The day of the bonfire. Things take a romantic turn. Smile.

The tone in Elliot's voice when he said "good" almost undid her. She pushed some stray hair behind her ear thinking what a nervous habit that was and wondering if Ellliot knew that's what she did when she was nervous. He must because he sighed and leaned back in the booth watching her with a look that she couldn't read. It was almost…predatory?" She wondered if he had liked the fact that she remained single, if he ever wondered about the two of them. There were times in their partnership when she thought they were close to something and other times she felt like he was oblivious to her.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side. Partners are supposed to care about the other partner's happiness."

"I do. I promise to do anything I can to make you happy while you're here."

"You really aren't ever coming back are you?"

Elliot stared at her, but didn't respond right away.

"Liv…"

"You know what, let's not talk about it."

Jacey arrived with their burgers and shakes just in time and they spent the rest of lunch talking about how great the food was. Liv felt sick after consuming her entire strawberry shake, but it was the best one she had ever had. As they stood to leave she chuckled.

"Must walk, need exercise, but can't move."

Elliot smiled at her. He slipped his arm around her waist and clucked.

"Come on fatty, I'll help you."

"Really? Fatty? That's just mean, El."

For a second he felt terrible. There wasn't an ounce of fat on her.

"Liv, I'm sorry, I was just…"

"Gotcha!"

She slipped her arm around his waist too and hugged him to her side. A quick wave at a disappointed Jacey and they headed out into the August sunshine.

The afternoon was spent wandering through the gift shops, trying on silly hats and fake gasping at some junky beach trinket that they just "had to have". Liv did buy some souvenirs, but Elliot thought they were very tasteful. He especially liked the ship's bell Liv bought for Cragen's boat.

"He's gonna love it Liv."

"It'll make for a great retirement gift. Don't you think? Will you come?"

"What?"

"Will you come to the retirement party? I know everybody would love to see you and it would mean so much to Don."

Elliot considered it as they sat on a bench eating shaved ice and watching the sun start to set. He looked out at the waves before he responded.

"Yeah. Yeah I will. He did a lot for me over the years. I owe him that much. I owe you a lot too Liv. I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you."

"You are now. This time together has meant more to me than I can tell you El."

"It has?"

"I just needed closure, you know? These last few months I haven't been really functioning. I can't sleep. I yell, I argue, I scoff at Amaro's attempts to build a partnership. It's just…it's been…really hard…"

Liv's eyes started to fill up with tears and she looked away out at the ocean. Elliot felt like a jerk. He did this to her. He never thought things through. He just acted on impulse and he hurt people. Maybe the best thing he could do is let her have closure and go back to the city."

"Liv…I…"

"Don't Elliot. Don't say anything, okay? Not yet."

"Okay."

He stood and reached out his hand to take hers. They walked back to the beach house in silence. Each one was lost in his or her own thoughts. Their only connection was their clasped hands. Both of them had a lot to think about. The emotions starting to come into play were either going to change their relationship or end it. Liv was scared to death that Elliot was thinking the later.

Once they arrived back at the house Olivia decided to shut things down before they ended up in a dark place.

"Hey, El, I think I'm just going to take a bubble bath, read a book and go to bed early. The beach air actually makes me sleepy. I feel like I'm catching up for the first time in a long time. Is that okay with you?"

"Uh, sure. Hey, how about tomorrow we spend the day on the beach? We can swim, read or just nap and sunbathe. You up for that?"

"You're kidding right? That sounds wonderful."

Elliot leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek before he released her hand.

"Night Liv."

"Night El. I'm really glad I got to say goodnight to you this time."

"I'm so sorry for the way I acted last night. Forgive me?"

"For the last time, I forgive you. By the way, you pushed me really hard."

"I…"

"Gotcha again. You are too easy Stabler."

They stood awkwardly for another moment and then El reached for her and pulled her into a hug. He whispered into her hair.

"I will never hurt you again like that Liv. I promise."

"I know. Night."

"Night."

The next morning Elliot went down to the beach to set up the beach chairs and the umbrella. He heard the backdoor screen bang and looked up to see Olivia coming towards him in a beautiful low cut one piece bathing suit. He thought he might pass out. Thank goodness she had to walk to him. It gave him time to get himself under control. She had legs that went on forever and curves in all the right places. Over the years he had only been able to guess what she might look like without the suits and the jackets and the blazers. She was a knockout.

Olivia watched Elliot's muscles moving as he pushed the umbrella into the ground. His delicious abs and muscled upper chest drew her eyes and she had to be careful not to trip. It was a sin for a man his age to look so good.

"Hey, ready for some fun in the sun?"

"You bet I am."

"Last one in the water's a rotten egg."

"You've got to be kidding me. A rotten egg? What are you ten?"

Even so she took off after him and reached the water just as he dove out into the waves. He was a strong swimmer, but Liv could hold her own. She did laps in the pool on a regular basis. They played in the surf for a while. When they got out into deeper water Elliot tried to dunk her and she came up fighting. They went at it for some time until she finally yelled uncle and he caught her around the waist. They stood in chest high water just looking at each other for a long time. Elliot pushed her wet hair back from her face and tenderly cupped her cheek.

"You look cute wet Benson."

Liv blushed under his gaze. She felt like a schoolgirl.

"You look pretty good wet yourself."

Elliot suddenly pushed back and issued a challenge.

"Race you to the pier."

"You're on."

They took off towards the pier just down the beach from Elliot's house. There were a couple of boats moored there and she could picture Cragen pulling his boat up someday and paying a visit. What made her think of that?

She had to admit that she had been thinking what it would be like to retire out here some day with Elliot. As quickly as she thought about it, she shut that thought down. A guy doesn't disappear and cut you out of his life just to turn around and invite you to share his twilight years. She pushed all thoughts of the future out of her mind and spent the rest of the day living in the now. If she could just enjoy this time with Elliot, she would have a memory that she hoped would sustain her over the next year. If he was open, maybe she could come and visit him more often. She had more accumulated days than she would ever use. Maybe they could sustain a friendship outside of work.

Dinner was steaks on the grill and then Liv went to get a shower and dress for the bonfire. She was looking forward to it. When she was ready she found Elliot standing by the door with his guitar in his hand waiting. He gave her a once over in her capris and cute short sleeve top.

"You really do have a guitar."

"You had doubts?"

Liv smiled.

"This is going to be great."

"Better wait until you hear me play first."

She laughed.

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle."

"You better."

Once again he held out his hand like it was something they always did. Liv smiled into his earnest eyes and they fell into step together down the beach, which was already lit up by a good-sized bonfire in front of Mrs. Cook's house. They found a log and sat side by side. Mrs. Cook brought the fixings for s'mores over and they each made two.

Once most of the neighbors arrived, Elliot and a couple of other guys started playing. Liv sat sideways on the log and watched him play. He was really good. When he started picking she was even more impressed.

Liv didn't know many of the songs, but she loved listening to El's deep timbre. He had a beautiful voice. Who knew? The evening was like something out of a postcard. Liv had never experienced anything like it.

The fire started to burn down and a few folks headed out or got involved in conversations. She could feel a nip in the air now that it was dark and the fire was burning down.

"Are you cold?"

"A little. I thought the fire would keep me warm. I should have dressed warmer."

Elliot laid the guitar on the sand behind the log reached for Olivia and shocked her by pulling her into his lap, opening his legs and letting her slide down on the sand in front of him. He took His sweatshirt from beside him.

"Arms up."

"What?"

"Just do it Benson."

Olivia raised her arms and Elliot pulled his sweatshirt over her head and down her torso. It was warm and smelled of him. Elliot scooted her forward and slid down behind her wrapping his arms around her and taking both of her hands in his. He rubbed them vigorously as he settled his chin on her shoulder and then pulled her back into him as he leaned back against the log. His stubbly cheek rubbed against her cheek. She liked the way it felt.

"Better?"

Liv couldn't find her voice at first. Better? Oh my God, better was simply not the right word choice at the moment. Never in a million years did she think Elliot Stabler would be holding her like this on the beach in front of a roaring fire in the dark. Her feet almost did the happy dance in the sand.

"Definitely better, but now you'll be cold."

"Not with you to keep me warm."

Elliot caught Mrs. Cook smiling at them knowingly. He couldn't resist winking at her. He prayed the wood that was burning lasted for a long time and folks didn't get tired. He wanted to stay just like this for as long as possible. He had his best friend back, but there was more. He wanted to find out what that could look like. He wanted to put everything behind him now, but he had to make her understand why he did what he did and why he can never go back. It meant telling her the truth, all of it. He wanted to now.

The bonfire lasted for another half an hour until folks started drifting away to their various homes. Liv sat still, waiting until they were the last ones. Elliot smiled down at her and turned to whisper in her ear.

"Time to get some sleep Benson. I have a surprise for you tomorrow."

He pushed her gently forward and stood up reaching down with both hands to pull her up. As she stood and dusted off her shorts, he reached for his guitar with one hand and for one of her free hands with the other one. Liv smiled when he slipped his fingers between hers and squeezed gently. They started back to his house along the water's edge swinging their hands between them. It all felt very surreal and Liv knew now what it meant to truly be happy without doing something to gain that happiness. She realized for the longest time that her job had been the source of her happiness as weird as that sounded. Elliot pulled their joined hand behind him drawing her closer.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Liv stopped and looked into his eyes in the moonlight.

"What are we doing El?"

He pulled her back from the water and laid his guitar in the sand. His arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her to him. He ran one hand up through her hair and then cupped her cheek.

"Liv…"

His voice sent chills through her and her breath hitched as his lips came closer. Before she could react he kissed her ever so gently. She had to be dreaming. Her hands ran up his chest and one cupped his jaw while the other one found its way to the back of his neck. She responded to him and he deepened the kiss as his hands cupped her cheeks. When they pulled back finally out of breath Liv was speechless. Elliot feathered his thumbs across her lips.

"Let's get you inside and give you a chance to warm up."

"I don't see how I could get any warmer at the moment."

Elliot chuckled and slipped his arm around her waist.

"When you came down here this was not what I expected would happen Liv."

"Never in a million years did I expect this."

"Are you disappointed?"

"Are you crazy?"

Together they walked the last hundred yards to the house and entered the dark sunroom.


	6. Chapter 6

Come Back to Me

Chapter Six

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. Maybe if I'm very, very good?

Author Notes: The talk we've been dreading finally comes.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Elliot laid his guitar on a chair and reached for Olivia. She came willingly back into his arms and this time he kissed her passionately. Liv ran her hands over his short cropped hair and stroked the back of his head as he deepened the kiss. He caressed her cheek and broke the kiss to feather more down her neck and back up again to her ear. His breath was warm as he whispered to her. He spoke in short phrases, expressing his feelings.

"Liv…so long…want you…didn't think I could …I care so much…you're okay…"

Liv was fast loosing control and she knew that if they crossed this line without working through what happened they would both be sorry. As much as she wanted to just give in and make love to him, she stopped herself and asked the question Elliot had been dreading.

"Why'd you leave if you felt this way El?"

This was clearly not what he had expected. He groaned and pulled back from her.

"Liv."

"I want this El. I want you, but I have to understand why you cut me out of your life like that when clearly you felt something for me. The last nine months have been agony for me."

"You really want to go there now?"

Liv softened her voice and stepped away to turn on a light.

"Come and sit with me."

She sat on the couch and held her hand up to El. He took it and sat down facing her. He rubbed his thumb nervously back and forth across her knuckles keeping his head down for a long time before he finally lifted it to meet her eyes.

"Elliot we were best friends. I'd like to say we are again and I think we're becoming more than best friends, but if we are going to go forward, I have to understand why you did what you did."

He went with the truth.

"I don't want to tell you. I'm afraid you'll leave and you'll never look at me the same again. I can't risk that Liv."

"Do you really think so little of my integrity that you think I'd stop caring about you? I will always care about you Elliot, no matter what you do or have done in the past. Do you hear me?"

She raised her hand to cup his cheek and she could see tears starting to shine in his eyes. She was sure hers were tearing up as well.

"Tell me what happened after the shooting."

"It was Gitano all over again. I let that kid die that day to get to you. I killed that boy when I chose you over the job. I didn't even stop to think about it. When I saw you go down on the floor in that train station and grip your throat like that I thought I was going to die too. I thought I was going to lose you forever and I knew I wouldn't be able to survive that loss. I was angry with myself afterwards, but I took it out on you. I blamed you like it was your fault for making me care about you. I told George I wish I didn't care so much. I felt things for you then that I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it Liv. I'd die for you any day willingly. I…I love you that much.

Liv's eyes went wide at his admission, but he kept going before she could respond. It seemed like he needed to get it all out at once. He covered the hand on his face with his own and dropped his head before he continued.

"When that girl started shooting all I could think about was protecting you. All I could see was Sister Peg dying in your arms and I was afraid you'd be next. I killed that girl for you. I was sure she was going to swing wide again and you were so unprotected in that moment bent over Sister Peg that I panicked. So I killed her. Then just like after Gitano I blamed you, but I blamed myself more. I stewed over it and I realized I couldn't tell Kathy because she'd know. She'd know how hopelessly in love with you I was. Back at the hospital after Gitano I told you if we chose each other over the job we couldn't be partners anymore. I had to get as far away from you as I could. I couldn't stand to stay knowing that some day I was either going to lose you or I was going to kill again…for you. What I had done ate me up inside. It still does. I have nightmares where I hesitate and the girl shoots you. I watch you die in my arms over and over again. I couldn't stay anymore. I couldn't stay there anymore knowing what I'd already done to two children. Sometimes the pain is unbearable and I find myself out on the beach drinking like the night you came. Now you have to leave. You have to go Liv. I…I can't be this close to you and see that look in your eyes."

"What?"

Elliot's eyes slowly rose until they met hers. As he pulled their hands back down into his lap, he searched her face looking for what he feared.

"Don't you get it? I failed you. I failed the squad. I did the one thing that goes against everything we believe. I killed a kid. I knew if I ever saw you again and told you about this I'd see one of two things I didn't ever want to see from you: pity or hate. I just…I just can't take that."

He looked down at their entwined hands and the tears came faster.

"Elliot, look at me. El…"

He raised his head slightly and looked at her from under hooded eyes. A tear slipped out and ran down his cheek. Liv gently brushed it away and cupped his face again bringing it to meet her eyes.

"Don't you know me better than that? I know what that cost you. If you hadn't done it, I would have done it. I know you spared me that Elliot and I will always be grateful. You saved me from the heartache. You may have been protecting me, but you also protected everyone in that squad room that day. Cragen has said more than once that the body count would have been much higher if you hadn't done what you did. Why did you bolt El? You saved all those people. I wish…I wish you had let me in back then. I wish you had come to me that night and stayed. I wish you had let me save you that night. Why didn't you?"

"Because I was pretty much not salvageable."

"That is not true. You have lived through more shit than a person should ever have to face. For once in your stubborn pig headed life, let me take care of you. Let me stay here with you for the time being and we'll talk and we'll do whatever you need to do to get back to being you again. I miss my partner. Although I do like Bohemian Guy a lot."

Liv ran her hands over his face and leaned forward to kiss him. She was gentle and tender and ran her thumbs over his stubbly cheeks while she cradled his face in her hands. Elliot finally found his voice again.

"I left you for nine months Liv. I can't promise you I won't leave again. Why would you want to stay?"

"Are you that blind? I love you too Elliot. I have for years and years. I think I've loved you since pretty much the first day. If I didn't I'd have left you a long time ago. You're a moody son of a bitch. You know that?"

A low chuckle started in Elliot's chest and made it's way to the surface.

"Yeah. You weren't too easy to live with at times either."

"And I left you twice too. You only left me once. I think we're more than even."

"I can't come back Liv. No matter how much better you make me feel about what happened, my heart just isn't in it anymore. Are you okay with that?"

"I just want to be with you El. I won't need a partner after Cragen retires and that's probably going to happen in the next 5 months or so. He'll pull me right after Christmas to train, so I only have to work it out with Amaro for another four months."

"You want to try and make a relationship work?"

"I do, if you do."

"Even if I'm not your partner."

"Even if you aren't my partner anymore. I think the benefits of you not being my partner far outweigh partnership."

Elliot reached for her then and pulled her into his lap.

"You'll always be my partner Liv, for better or worse."

"I like the idea of a new partnership."

Elliot smiled up at her and reached to turn off the lamp.

"El, what are you doing?"

"Creating a mood. Just go with it, okay?"

"What kind of mood?"

"This kind."

His lips covered hers and they were right back where they were when they came back from the bonfire. Only this time, they had clarity. Both of them were in this for the long hall. Liv fell into Elliot's kiss content for the first time in her life. It occurred to her that this was what she had been searching for all along. She remembered the conversation the two of them had in the car that night when she said she'd been alone her whole life. Not anymore. Elliot was home for her now, but then he always had been.

Without breaking the kiss, Elliot picked her up and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and settled over her. They broke the kiss and looked into each other's eyes.

"Do you really want this Liv?"

"I do. I love you El. I always have. Do you want this?"

"I do. I don't want to waste anymore time being away from you. I love you Liv."

They made love for the first time that night in Elliot's bed with the moonlight shining in the window and the sound of the surf in the background. Elliot was a gentle and giving lover and Olivia thought how unexpected that was. She loved that he could still surprise her even though she felt like she had been in a relationship with him forever. He took his time with her and by the time they became one she was filled with her need for him. Afterwards they lay in each other's arms and Elliot ran his hand up and down her bare back where she snuggled up to his chest and draped her arm over his waist.

"Did you ever think we'd end up like this?"

Elliot chuckled and ran his hand up into her hair.

"Honestly? No. I wanted you, but we just walked such a tight line all those years that I thought even if I was free to pursue you, we'd never go there. I feel like I'm living a dream right now, Liv."

"El?"

"Yeah, Liv?"

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"I just always wanted to be free to say that to you and now that I can, I think I may be saying it a lot."

"Good. Because I'm going to need to hear it a lot from you to believe it."

"Do you need me to refresh your memory El?"

Elliot rolled her over on her back again. He hovered over her and grinned down at her.

"Yes, please."

This was the Elliot she knew and loved, not the man she had found when she first arrived. Elliot. Her Elliot was about to make love to her again. She reached up and pulled him down to her.

"Come here Stabler."


	7. Chapter 7

Come Back to Me

Chapter Seven

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine. I miss El.

Author Notes: The morning after. The weeks after. The months after.

Sunlight streamed in the bedroom and Elliot pulled the sheet up over both of them to block out the brightness. He looked under the sheet at the beautiful woman curled up to him. She was here. It wasn't a dream although last night had felt like a dream. He smiled when he realized he had not had any nightmares last night. He had actually slept better than he ever had in the last 5-6 years.

She was even more beautiful in the light of day. His eyes traveled the length of her body memorizing every curve and beauty mark. He noticed a small birthmark on her right hip. He would definitely have to kiss that and soon. Just looking at her made him want her again. He couldn't even remember how many times they had made love last night. He knew he would never get enough of her.

"See something you like El?"

"I see so much to like."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You have a beautiful body Liv and curves in all the right places."

"Back at you."

Liv looked down at his amazing body. No one would guess his age correctly to look at him. He was retired, but he was no senior citizen and in her mind wouldn't be for a very long time.

Elliot pulled her up and over his body and she straddled his torso, pushing herself upright. She smiled down at him and spread her hands across his chest. He slid his hands up her arms and reached behind her neck to pull her to him. They engaged in a passionate kiss before he rolled her under him again.

"Hey! What are you a caveman?"

"When it comes to you Baby, I am."

He leaned up on his forearms and looked into her eyes. They just gazed at each other reveling in the fact that they were here together in this intimate position. Finally they had knocked down the last barrier between them. He leaned in and kissed her, but pulled back quickly.

"Stay right there."

Elliot disappeared under the sheet seeking out his prize. He pressed his lips to her hip and the birthmark there, sending her into gales of laughter.

"You just had to find my imperfections didn't you Stabler?"

"They're what make you who you are Liv. I intend to love that spot the same way I love everything else about you."

He reappeared out from under the covers and once again took her in his arms, making love to her slowly and reverently. They spent most of the day locked in each other's embrace, before Liv's stomach started growling and she begged for food.

"Okay, but only if we bring the tray back to bed."

"You are insatiable."

"Only with you, Baby. Only with you."

The next three weeks were spent either lying in bed in each other's arms or on the beach. Liv dreaded what would happen when she had to go back to New York. Absence didn't always make the heart grow fonder. She knew from her past relationships that her job tended to end things pretty quickly. Her only hope was in the fact that Elliot knew what the job asked of you.

When it came time to leave for New York, she stood by her car trying to fight back the tears welling up. She failed and Elliot reached up and swiped them away, cupping her cheek with his hand.

"I will be at your apartment on Friday and we can go through your stuff and decide what you want to move out to the beach house, okay? I know it can only be weekends for now because you have to be on call, but we will make this work Liv. I was away from you for nine months, but there wasn't a day I wasn't thinking about you the whole time. Come here."

They stood wrapped together in an embrace and a good-bye kiss that quickly turned passionate and Elliot broke the kiss only long enough to throw her over his shoulder and head back into the house.

"Put me down Stabler. I am not letting you seduce me again. I have to go. Put. Me. Down."

She knew he was trying to lighten the moment and she loved him for it. Mrs. Cook was walking by with her little dog and she called out to them.

"Put her down Elliot. Olivia needs to get back to the city before dark. Now you knew she had to leave today."

The older woman strolled up the sidewalk and as he set Liv back on her feet, the woman pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so glad you came Olivia. It's nice to see Elliot so happy. I'll keep my eye on him for you."

"Thanks Mrs. Cook. See you soon."

The old woman walked her dog on down the sidewalk and once again Olivia tried to get in her car. Elliot pressed her up against her door. He ran his hands up into her hair.

"Call me when you stop for gas and call me again when you get home."

"I will. I promise."

Liv kissed him one last time and climbed in the mustang. Elliot hung on the door and refused to let go.

"You're a grown man Elliot and I am driving away now."

El sighed and stepped back. He watched Liv's car until it was out of sight. Liv waved as she settled in for the drive. It was only about an hour and a half, so she decided she could spend the time remembering the last three glorious weeks. Only a day into her remembrances her cell went off.

"I just left you Detective."

"First off, I'm not a detective anymore and secondly, I don't want you to be alone."

Liv grinned and put it on speaker and they talked until her battery started to get low. He finally let her get off and she finished the rest of the drive smiling. They talked for hours at a time now, when they once hardly said more than a few words to each other. It just made her smile.

The rest of the week was torture.

Liv smiled as she filed her DD5's. She looked at the clock and smirked. It had taken everything she had to wait and keep her mouth shut today. She couldn't wait. For the last three months she had been commuting back and forth to the beach house, but today Elliot who had spent the holidays with her was coming to New York to spend the winter with her as well. Cragen had decided to retire in two months and she was starting her training this week. It would mean she could go home at a decent hour most nights and she and Cragen would be sharing responsibilities, so she would have even more time with Elliot. Nobody, but her Captain knew about their relationship. The squad knew she had been in a better mood of late, but they couldn't figure out why. Fin had his suspicions, but he was keeping them to himself.

Liv's thoughts went back to New Year's Eve. She had arrived late to her apartment after a tough case. When she opened the front door music was playing softly in the background. A table was set in front of her fireplace lit by candlelight. Roses were scattered about and several dozen were in vases around the room. Elliot was in the kitchen putting bread in the oven. He was dressed in a gorgeous blue shirt and he looked up at her with a sexy smile showing off his dimples. He stepped over to her and kissed her.

"Thanks for letting me know when you were getting here."

"What's all this? I thought we were just going to have a quiet evening at home?"

"Doesn't mean it can't be special. I put something on our bed for you to wear after you enjoy the bubble bath I just ran for you."

"Uh, excuse me, but have you seen my boyfriend? His name is Elliot Stabler and I'm supposed to be with him tonight. Oh, wait. It looks like Bohemian Man showed up instead. That's okay. I like him better anyway."

She giggled and tried to outrun him to the bedroom, but he still swatted her behind before she cleared the threshold. After a luxurious bath, she found a gorgeous silk nightgown and robe on the bed. The smell of Italian food assaulted her senses and she came back into the living room to find El putting the food on their plates. Dinner was amazing and then El pulled her into his arms and they slow danced as midnight came closer. A few minutes before midnight he opened a bottle of champagne and they sat on the couch together. Elliot suddenly looked extremely nervous.

"El what is going on? It's just us."

"Liv, I…"

He slid down on the floor and reached for her hand. Liv stopped breathing.

"Liv, I love you so much and the last five months have meant the world to me. When I'm away from you I feel like I just exist. When I'm with you I'm alive. You always make me want to be a better person. You make me so happy. I don't know why you'd want to be with me, but I'm hoping you do. Marry me?"

Liv's eyes lit up and she watched as Elliot pulled a ring box out of his pants pocket. He held it open. A beautiful round cut diamond sparkled back at her in the candlelight. Her eyes filled up with tears and she held her hand out for him. She only said one thing.

"Yes."

Elliot slipped the ring on her finger and scooped her up in his arms. They celebrated the New Year over and over throughout the night. Liv's feet hadn't touched the ground since.

Her thoughts returned to the present as she looked up to see Fin and Munch arrive back from a crime scene, both complaining about how cold it was to Rollins and Amaro. A few minutes later the doors to the squad room swung open. Liv knew who it was before he even came into her line of sight. Fin spotted him first.

"Stabler as I live and breathe. You son of a bitch. You choose now to come back?"

Elliot was carrying coffees for everybody. Munch looked quickly to Olivia to gage her reaction, but was shocked to find a smile on her face. El passed out the coffees and finally stepped over to Liv. Fin was on instant alert and started to intercept him. Liv stood quickly and met El as he walked to her. They all stood in shocked amazement as he kissed her full on the mouth and handed her a cup.

"Tea, Baby?"

Fin was stunned.

"What's going on here Liv?"

Cragen walked out of his office and straight over to Elliot. He clapped him on the back as El handed him a cup.

"Thanks for picking these up Elliot. I'm letting her go early tonight so you guys can get reacquainted, but tomorrow night it's beers at the bar. Got it?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it."

Munch was catching on.

"How long have you two…"

Liv smiled as she held her tea with both hands. Elliot snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close. It was obvious by the way she looked up into Elliot's eyes that this was not a new relationship.

"El, this is Amanda Rollins and Nick Amaro."

Elliot reached out to shake Nick's hand.

"Thanks for taking care of my partner all this time. She says you're a stand up guy. I appreciate that. I worry about her a lot these days."

Fin finally cracked.

"Liv, how long have you and Stabler been in contact?"

"Um, what is it? Five months now, El?"

"Why didn't you say anything? I was worried about you."

"I didn't want anyone to know until we were sure it was going to work out between us."

"And?"

"Um, we're getting married in the spring."

"What about Kathy?"

"We've been divorced for a year."

Munch held out his hand.

"Pay up Tutuola."

"Yeah. Yeah."

Fin handed him fifty bucks.

"You guys had a bet on us?"

"Fin said you guys would never get your heads out of your…well, he didn't think you'd ever admit how you felt. I on the other hand believed in you two. I knew it was just a matter of time. I have to admit you scared me there for a bit Stabler."

"Sorry Munch. I scared myself for a bit there too."

Liv grabbed her coat and Elliot took it from her to help her put it on.

"See you guys tomorrow okay? We've been long distance for a while now and I just want to take him home."

With that the two of them walked out of the squad room holding hands.

Cragen folded his arms across his chest and smiled. It took them a long time, but they found each other. He always knew they would. His thoughts went back to the day he introduced them. Elliot had just finished arguing with him for a half hour about how he didn't want to be partnered with a woman. Don had smiled when he introduced them. Stabler was speechless as he took Liv's outstretched hand in his.

"Benson."

"Uh…Stabler."

"Nice to meet you. Let's get to work."

Cragen saw it that day and every day after that for all the years they had been partnered. They had that undeniable spark. Together they were electric. The two of them were the best he had ever had on his squad. No matter what happened he always knew they would find their way back to each other.

It was just a matter of time.

A/N: So in my thought world they will always live happily ever after. Wanted to wrap this up. Thanks for so many great reviews. They meant so much to me. Your encouraging words inspire.


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